How many Jesus does it take to terraform the Moon? (a conundrum in two parts)

Being a political topic, I will answer my own question with another question.  Do we need to terraform the moon?

Well, no, but it is time we start talking about this and a few related topics.

The environment is an issue that many people care deeply about.  Unfortunately, it’s also an issue that many other people don’t give two shits about.  The problem seems to be that if you attempt to force change, there is a certain portion of the population that will rebel against it and these people are none-too-pleased about all this moaning and groaning about Climate Change (the artist formerly known as Global Warming).  Why?  Because these people are pretty sure it’s a liberal hoax.

 So, since we can’t get everyone on board for the big push to keep the earth inhabitable for humans and the people in charge are building bunkers to outlast the apocalypse (and by “people in charge” I mean The Walton Family) I think we need to discuss a timeline for technological advancement to prevent human extinction (and, make no mistake, if the Walton Family are the only ones left standing then humanity is done) or at least predict how fast information can go to meet the demands of an ever conflicting information consumer populous.

 PART ONE: The Jesus Scale and Earth’s ‘Near-Term’ Future.

Here’s where it gets scary: the best timeline for the best timeline for a major possible global warming event is about 200 years from now.  What is discussed in media most often is a minor global warming event; polar ice caps shed some of their excess, super storms, loss of inhabitable land, etc.  A major global event is much worse: it means that atmospheric levels of gases such as methane and nitrus oxide will be at levels concurrent with those necessary for mass extinction.

 To see the future, look to the past.  I have viewed several Geological and Historical Timelines and read and listened to quite a bit about history, the science of climate change, the science of futurism, speculation regarding the fate of the planet; but the funniest thing I have heard regarding this subject is the unit of measure known as the Jesus.  Robert Anton Wilson; deceased philosopher, religious figure and comic lecturer; uses the unit Jesus to signify the amount of information humans compiled from the Bronze Age to the birth of Jesus.  Sweet, now no one can possibly take seriously the very subject that is needed to be raised to determine how long life as we know it has, but, fuck it.

 By the Wilson Hypothesis, with information at 1 Jesus at 1 A.D. (1=1: obviously) which took 30,000 years, doubled to 2 Jesus 1500 years after, doubling again 250 years later and so on with nearly exponential growth so that in 1973 information would be at 128 Jesus but with information doubling every year starting around 1989 my current estimate is that we are at a modest 34,359,738,368 Jesus.

 Now, with all that information surely we can terraform the moon, right?

 Um, yeah.

 How do I know?

 I googled it.

 Okay, so if you dig deep enough you realize that it would be an immense undertaking and the amount of funds it would take to make this happen perhaps don’t exist yet at this stage, but it is possible for humanity to enact a terraform program for the moon.

 Great, that’s solved, but what about this whole earth business?  If we can terraform the moon, and I believe Google says we can, why can’t we solve this global climate change crisis with the amount of information we have?

 The answer, of course is, we can.  I didn’t even have to google that one (but I did it anyway 😛).  So what’s the big problem?  Well, for one, there are a lot of people who are ignoring a great many Jesus.

 PART TWO: Harkening back to Simpler Times.

 What an odd phrase: Harken back to simpler times.  Why, wasn’t it so peaceful and serene?  Take, say the year 1960, as we all know it was a wonderful time.  In fact, it was the best time!  WWII was over and the children spawned just after VE Day were just turning fourteen; all of them!  Polio had been cured, breast and cervical cancers were virtually unheard of, In God We Trust was implanted on the money just a few years beforehand and racism … hold on.

 (googling…  please wait)

 Well, shit was simpler for most people, alright!?  Anyway.  Point is, some sixty-three (63, dammit) years later, many people seem to wish to go back to such simpler times.  No, seriously.  There is a growing number of people who, for whatever reason, want to go back to a simpler time like, say, 1960.

Examples of the media drivers behind this are, of course, FoxNews and other various Neo-Conservative media groups.  These are the same groups that support an agenda of climate change denial.  And, if you say to me ‘There is no such thing as Climate Change Denial‘, I would beg to differ.

 So, to paraphrase Walter Sobchak from the film The Big Lebowski, “Say what you will about the tenets of Neo-Conservativism, at leasts an ethos”.  Yes, neo-conservativism is an ethos; an ethos that many people ascribe to, and that many politicians adhere to, and several news channels promote.  The problem that this poses for the effective climate change mitigation and correction through policy and social change is that these people essentially agree that they would like to turn back the clock to 1960 A.D.

1960 A.D., if we can just observe the Wilson Hypothesis, was at 64 Jesus.

 Recap: 2013 A.D.: 34,359,738,368 Jesus.  1960 A.D.: 64 Jesus.

 So, mathematically speaking, neo-conservativism would like to ignore approximately 99.999999981% of all known information available to humans at this time (or, if you will, they deny 34,359,738,304 Jesus).

 I don’t know about you, but I would not deny that many Jesus.

 CONCLUSION: It’s late and I Have Work in the Morning. (Amended After a Fair Night’s Sleep).

 There is no way that I can summarize all the information I have laid out before you, because they are so numerous and I have to be up in six hours for work!  I do want to point out that I do not despise, loathe, hate, distrust or wish ill upon neo-conservatives, per se, but; given the apparent lack of concern for the health and wellbeing of the planet, the inhabitants therein and, thus, their very own lives and futures (in the physical plane, at least); I am forced to conclude that they are operating under the assumption that what they do to the earth is of no consequence.  I, for one, beg to differ.

 Some of this conversation, to me, begs for a call to action.  If you, dear reader, would rather breath terrestrial air than terraform the moon (and even if you are still pretty keen on option two but like the idea of visiting Earth for holiday), my hope is that  get vocal about it.  The fact is, you may have a friend or relative who has been on a”global warming is a myth” kick and, maybe it’s time to set them straight or, since we don’t want to make waves (climate change puns?) you could inform them that you disagree and unless they can produce cold hard facts to the contrary, you will continue to believe that climate change: is real, is dangerous and needs everyone’s help to prevent and curtail its destructive path.

 Now, finally, and sadly; The Jesus Scale.  I do believe both Robert Anton Wilson and myself had a great deal of fun with the whole Jesus as unit of measure, but we can’t continue to refer to a unit of information a Jesus, now can we (or perhaps they will in Europe but I think America will need to call it something else, you know, politics).

 Going forward we need to consider the general public in our conversation regarding information as quantifiable resource.  I do believe that the basal unit being fair and equitable; the statistical information Robert Anton Wilson derives from was originally found by French statistician Georges Anderla so I think the unit may need to be called an Anderla (at least in America, where prudence prevails).

I hope this, my first ever blog (some 10 years after the rest of the world stopped updating theirs) has been entertaining and informative.  I look forward to future topics which will be of ever increasingly questionable ilk.

 Thank You and Good Night.